How Do You Say Something Again on an Application Without Retyping It
49 Ways To Say No To Anyone (When You Don't Want To Be A Jerk)
Posted July 28, 2016, past Zahra Campbell-Avenell
In life, you take to say no a whole lotta times.
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I know information technology'south not easy. In fact, sometimes it tin can exist so tough to say no that you terminate up giving in and just saying yes. Information technology'south human nature – nosotros want to exist agreeable, we want to be liked, and nosotros want to exist kind.
So how practice yous say no, no, no all the time without being (or feeling like) a jerk? Here's the short version: just don't be a wiggle. Y'all have every right to say no without feeling guilty, and equally long every bit yous don't practise information technology in a nasty way, you're not a wiggle. Plain and simple. Here'south a great tip:
Stop saying yes when y'all want to say no.
And if you're non saying no to most things, lemme tell ya: you're not doing yourself whatever favours. In a earth where everything is finite, you should exist prioritising like crazy. Saying yes to everything is the fastest mode to burn down out. But I'm not here to tell you why you demand to say no (that's for another commodity) – I'll assume you're hither because yous desire to know how to say it. And that's a whole other story. The proficient news is that at that place are many ways to say no (give-and-take on the street is that in that location are at least 49). So without farther ado, let'south get into information technology:
i. Use the word.
Not, 'Not at this time', not 'I don't think so', not 'I'm not sure', not 'Maybe next time'. The word NO is a powerful matter. Apply it if you are absolutely, unequivocally sure that in that location is no other reply. And don't apologise for saying it. If demand exist, exercise saying the word until it loses its power over you.
2. Or a firm (just polite) alternative.
- I appreciate your fourth dimension, but no thanks.
- Thanks for thinking of me, but I have too much on my plate right now.
- No cheers!
- Not today, thank you.
- Non for me, thank you.
- I'm afraid I can't.
- I'g non really into [heavy metal/decoupage/Pokemon Go], but thanks for asking!
- I'd rather not, thanks.
- I recollect I'll pass.
3. Don't Costanza it.
This goes for family, friends, or even your boss. You don't have to have an elaborately fabricated ruse – merely say you don't desire to. If you don't want to get to an event because you've had a rough week and y'all'd rather sit down in bed watching Netflix – then say so. Don't invent an ailing grandmother because y'all recollect it makes your excuse more palatable.
iv. Don't get on and on.
In some cases, it's best not to elaborate. If you lot justify your 'no' too much, it tin seem like yous're lying – or worse nonetheless, information technology can permit the asker to observe a workaround to try and make you lot say yes.
v. Don't be afraid to say it twice.
Sometimes people don't respect boundaries, or are used to people caving if they ask again. Just because someone is persistent, doesn't hateful yous have to give in. Smile politely, and say no a 2nd fourth dimension, merely more firmly than the commencement.
6. If demand be, utilize 'because'.
Research has shown that using the give-and-take 'because' makes people agree with you (even if the reason yous requite them is accented rubbish). So instead of just maxim, 'Unfortunately I won't exist able to assistance you plan our team building issue', try adding a reason (however trivial) to assistance your refusal get down more hands.
vii. But smile and shake your head.
Yous can do this as you walk away, likewise. This works especially well for people giving out flyers or trying to guilt you into signing upward for something.
8. Exist assertive.
It helps to imagine that you are the person in command of the situation (mind over matter – it's a powerful thang.) Make eye contact and speak clearly. Don't grumble your no, mmmkay? This is extremely helpful if you lot feel that y'all are beingness taken advantage of.
9. Don't take freebies.
Nosotros're hardwired to want to reciprocate when someone gives us something. So if you have that cheese sample at the supermarket and the prissy lady starts convincing you to buy it, you're far more likely to say yes than if you hadn't accepted the sample in the first place.
x. If all your friends were jumping off a cliff, would you lot?
It's easy to fall into the trap of saying yes because other people are saying aye. Don't do it.
11. Remind yourself of the opportunity price.
What will y'all lose by giving in? Time? Money? Health? Cypher comes for free.
12. Read upward on the tricks used by con artists.
It makes you realise how hands even the smartest amid u.s. can get fooled into saying yep. Don't be conned.
xiii. Trust your gut.
Your intuition will seldom atomic number 82 y'all astray. If information technology doesn't 'feel' right, listen to your instincts – and say no.
fourteen. Provide an alternative.
This can be specially useful in a work setting, when you don't want to exist seen as the person who says no all the time. If you lot're too busy to take on a task that you might want to do in the futurity, you lot can say something along the lines of, 'I won't be able to help you with the Field business relationship this time around, but I'm happy to take a look next calendar month when my schedule is less hectic'.
15. Pass that buck.
If you lot desire to say no to something that you lot know someone else might desire to say yes to, feel costless to pass on that information. 'I'thou agape that I won't have fourth dimension to contribute to the bake auction this year, merely I know Amanda loves baking – perhaps you could ask her?' is a good instance. Resist the temptation to apply this equally an excuse to throw people you don't like under the bus, or y'all will (rightly) be perceived every bit a jerk.
sixteen. Negotiate.
If you lot're willing to meet halfway, this is the fourth dimension to negotiate. It'll allow you to arrange the asking without saying an outright no. This tin include reducing the size of the task, asking for a longer deadline or sharing the load with some other person.
17. Don't delay.
There'south no signal in making someone expect for an answer if you know that your reply volition exist no. Procrastination is a terrible thing – don't say 'I'll think about it' if you lot won't.
18. Go alee and change your heed.
But because you said yeah in one case doesn't hateful that you lot're stuck saying yes until the finish of fourth dimension.
19. Say it often.
The more you practice, the less terrifying it volition go. Start saying no to anything that doesn't add together value to your life.
20. What a shame.
While saying 'Sorry, I can't' will certainly soften your message and brand it more polite, it will besides dilute information technology. Here's another way to say the same thing 'Information technology's a shame – I'd honey to assist but I'k already committed to [X thing]. Best of luck!'
21. The disease to please.
Often we'll say yeah to things that actually aren't a priority because you lot don't want people to call up yous're a jerk. Judge what? Some people volition recall you're a wiggle anyhow, no matter how nice you really are. And then stop worrying almost what people think, and just say no already.
22. Crystal ball it.
When you become good at saying no, you tin can probably start pre-emptively saying no to asks before they come. Think that your aunt is going to invite you lot to her Tupperware political party? Tell her that yous're broke.
23. Avoid series askers.
If y'all know someone who is ever request for favours, without doing much for you lot in return, endeavor to avoid them, particularly at times when you know they will exist in an request mood.
24. A white lie never injure anyone.
Normally I'one thousand a huge abet of the truth, but in some cases, you lot might need to get a fiddling creative with your no. For example, if you know that your grandmother is going to endeavor and push button her Anzac biscuits on y'all when you visit, feel free to tell her that the doctor has told you to avoid carbohydrate for a while if you lot don't desire to hurt her feelings. If your grandmother'south a tough cookie (pardon the pun) experience complimentary to apply #2.
25. Non now.
You should only exercise this i if you know for sure that you'll actually consider something later (otherwise, see #17). Permit's say that yous'd honey to assistance walk your neighbour's domestic dog once a week, just not the week before you're leaving for a 2-month trip to Republic of guatemala. Elementary – inquire your neighbour to cheque with you again when you're back. And when yous're at work, unless it's urgent, don't drib everything to nourish to the newest task on your list – just say, 'Sure affair, I'll go onto that every bit shortly equally I'1000 finished with this project.'
Loftier five, y'all're halfway in that location! Here are 24 more ways to say no:
26. It's not you, it's me.
Feel costless to use this classic rejection line if yous feel that the production/idea/person/occasion is right for someone, simply that someone isn't you. It's perfectly adequate to say that something isn't the right fit for you.
27. It's not me, it's you lot.
Plow the above axiom on its caput, and don't be agape to tell people when information technology'south a difficult no, aka 'Maybe…when pigs fly'. So if you're a vegetarian, don't let your great-aunt make you lot try 'but a little bite' of her beef casserole – tell her, 'No thanks, Aunt Maggie – you know I'm a vegetarian so I will never try it.' Feel gratis to draw a line in the sand where you lot need to. Another example is, 'Every bit a dominion, I don't donate money to political parties'. If you stick to your guns, people will learn to respect your boundaries.
28. Empathise.
Sometimes validation is all the other person needs. Saying something like, 'I know that sucks – but I can't, I'grand distressing.'
29. You lot don't always have to be squeamish.
Demand permission to say no just because you don't want to? Permission granted.
thirty. Air your discomfort.
If a friend asks to borrow money, feel gratis to say something like 'I'one thousand not comfortable with lending coin to people, sorry.'
31. I wish I could.
In some cases, yous might accept to be a little softer in your arroyo. Imagine the nicest parking inspector in the world. Fifty-fifty though you tell her that you're merely a few minutes late, what's she gonna say? Probably something along the lines of 'I wish I could, but I've already written the ticket'. Adopt a similar approach. Here's another example: 'I wish I could help with your project, just I'1000 swamped this week'.
32. Thanks merely no thanks.
Sometimes this is literally all you'll have to say. Or you tin add #31 to the mix if you want to soften the blow. This is what to say if yous want to say that you're grateful to be asked, but x isn't your matter.
33. Use body language.
Shaking your head, raising your eyebrows – fifty-fifty rolling your eyes can piece of work in the right setting. Regardless, use powerful body language to prove that you mean business, even as you pass up something graciously.
34. Buy some fourth dimension.
I would leave this as a very last resort, because yous do run the take a chance of beingness barraged later. You're but postponing the inevitable, but if it helps, y'all tin can say 'Let me call up about it' or 'I'll check my agenda…permit me become back to yous.'
35. I'm flattered, just no cheers.
Sometimes you might need to acknowledge that it's a large deal that a person asked yous to do something. This could be useful if someone asks you to model for them, or offers you a promotion that y'all don't desire.
36. I really shouldn't…
Relieve this for the times when yous want to say yes, but actually recollect yous should say no (mayhap to exist polite). So when your colleague (whose beau happens to be a pastry chef) offers you some of her birthday block, use this. It'southward like magic…say it and the other person is likely to say, 'Oh, become on! Just have it!'
37. Hell no.
This needs to be used sparingly, and probably merely with friends. And so if you sleep with a Hello Kitty nighttime light on, and a friend-of-a-friend is invites y'all to a screening of The Horror 3, maxim 'Oh heeeeeell no! I'll never sleep again!' is a prophylactic bet.
38. I said no.
This works for children and pesky, charming salespeople. Again, the primal is to be friendly but business firm.
39. It's non the best.
This is a gentle manner of maxim no, and tin can be really useful when someone asks you something alike to 'Does this shade of neon orange adjust me?' Instead of existence a jerk and using a blunt #37, attempt saying 'It's not the all-time colour on you – let's look at this navy blazer instead!'
40. Ummm, no (possibly accompanied with a laugh).
So this is the just 1 that can (kind of) make you sound like a jerk, so use it wisely. I would save this for moments when someone asks you to work for gratuitous, or insults you in some other way.
41. I know this isn't the reply you were hoping for.
Acknowledging some other person's feelings is important, just certainly makes this a 'no' on the softer terminate of the spectrum. Then if someone is expecting you lot to do something but you aren't going to practise it, say no, followed by the in a higher place gem.
42. Last time was keen.
Sometimes you're gonna have to say no when you've said yes before – and this tin can be tricky. The best mode to get effectually this (even if you need to harness the power of #24) is to affirm that while you might have enjoyed information technology the last time, you may not this fourth dimension around. 'While I loved the opportunity to present to the CEO, you know that public speaking isn't really my forte, so I won't do it this quarter.'
43. Let me know if you want me to reshuffle priorities.
If your boss hands you nevertheless another project that yous don't take time for, and won't have no for an answer, ask what you lot can let go of. 'That sounds really interesting, and I'd be happy to exercise it – simply that means I won't be able to submit the report by Friday. So allow me know what you desire me to prioritise.'
44. I'm expert/I'1000 happy/I'thousand all prepare.
This is good for common cold callers – 'Thanks simply I'm skillful with my current mobile plan. Please remove me from your telephone call list. Thanks!' is good plenty.
45. How lovely of you.
If your well-pregnant sister-in-police force wants to throw you a 30th altogether political party, but you'd rather just have a casual lunch with your friends and family, appreciate the gesture while refusing it. 'Janet, that'south so lovely of you! But I've already planned to have a beach solar day and a picnic – I'll exist sending out invites side by side week.'
46. Reduce your availability.
Depending on what you do for a living (eastward.thou. if yous're a doctor/plumber/lawyer/mechanic/auditor), any of these can exist useful: don't put your mobile phone number on your business organisation card. Don't give out your number to anyone except shut friends and family unit. Encourage people to text you rather than leaving you voicemail messages. Reduce the number of Facebook 'friends' you accept.
47. Unfortunately.
This is expert for a concern setting. Had a request to recommend an intern who you remember should withal work at Baker's Delight instead of a law firm? I've got your back: 'Hey Ellen, thanks for thinking of me! Unfortunately I don't think I'm the best person to write your recommendation because I haven't spent enough time seeing you write briefs, which seems similar an integral part of this function. Skilful luck in your job search!'
48. Information technology's not possible.
Possible and impossible are magical words. If you say, 'That'south just non possible' with conviction, y'all probably won't need to say anything else.
49. It'due south an honor.
If someone asks y'all to practise something major – I'grand talking about something akin to becoming their kid's godparent or 'saying a few words' at their wedding – simply proverb no will make yous audio similar an absolute jerk, then you take to tread lightly. Here'south a good leave strategy: 'Charlotte, that's such an honor, and I feel privileged to have been asked. Still, because [insert not-negotiable reason here, east.g. I'm then terrified of public speaking; I've been known to faint], I wouldn't be able to give this important task/function the fourth dimension and attempt it deserves, and I don't desire to let you downward. Would y'all consider asking Fatima instead?
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Source: https://www.careerfaqs.com.au/news/news-and-views/how-to-say-no-to-anyone
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